What’s In A Name?

I never met a name I didn’t like.

My dad and I collect names. But not just any names. These are names that somehow match the person’s profession. In some way, either the person’s first, last, or both names directly or indirectly (by way of a pun) describe or reflect the person’s livelihood. Admittedly, some are a stretch. Others are a tad obscure. But I think you’ll find most of them at least amusing.

Most important to note is that these are all real people with whom my dad or I have come in contact in some way (either in person or by just seeing their name in print or in the media), or have verified from a believable source. (Since publishing this list on the Web, some names have been contributed by surfers to this site, and are so noted).

The list appears below, in reverse order with the newest entries at the top.

  • Lieutenant Les McBurney – Sun Prairie Fire Department
  • Franklin Baker – Owned a baking company
  • Donald Parish Jr., Billy Earl Dade Middle School, South Dallas, TX
  • Deb Proctor – Chief SAT Test Administrator, Lincoln-Sudbury High School
  • Lewis Land – Geologist
  • Bill Price – Medical Billing Coordinator
  • Marcus Traynor – Head Instructor, Buzz Durkin’s Uechi Karate School
  • Brad Slaughter – Meat Department Manager
  • David Ozonoff – Profressor of Environmental Health, BU School of Public Health
  • Dr. Stephen Spitz – Dentist
  • Tony Messenger – Editorial Editor, St. Louis Post
  • Nicholas Economides – Professor of Economics at NYU Stern School of Business
  • Erin Baker – Baker
  • Rick Roll – District Manager-Goodyear Tires
  • Psyche Loui – Instructor in Neurology at Beth Israel Deaconess
    Medical Center and Harvard Medical School
  • Cliff Quicksell – Sales Training Motivator
  • Mark Baker – Pastry Chef
  • Usain Bolt – Jamaican sprinter
  • Marion Nestle – Nutritionist and anti-snack food crusader
    (Contributed)
  • Gary Player – Golfer
    (Contributed)
  • Larry Playfair – NHL Hockey player with over 1800 penalty minutes
    (Contributed)
  • Creflo Dollar – “Prosperity” preacher
    (Contributed)
  • Fred Price – “Prosperity” preacher
    (Contributed)
  • Scott Speed – Formula One race car driver
    (Contributed by Michael Granoff)
  • Paul Cashman – Accountant
    (Contributed by John Petrangelo)
  • Jim Beveridge – Master of Blending at Diageo (British “drinks giant”)
    (Contributed by John Petrangelo)
  • Scott Richer – VP, TD Waterhouse (investing)
    (Contributed by Michael Granoff)
  • Gerald Laflamme – Fire Chief
    (Contributed by John Petrangelo)
  • Richard Noyes – High school band director
    (Contributed by Richard Lord)
  • Dr. Charles Virtue – Philosophy professor, U. Maine
    (Contributed by Richard Lord)
  • Dr. Francis Bird – Poultry Science professor, U. Maine
    (Contributed by Richard Lord)
  • Mary Trainer – Teacher
    (Contributed by Richard Lord)
  • Burns Phair – Fire Chief (ret)
    (Contributed by Richard Lord)
  • Sidney Graves – Undertaker, Graves Funeral Home
    (Contributed by Richard Lord)
  • Christina Painter – Painter (Oils)
  • Gary Hull – Sailboat salesman
    (Contributed by Lee Bauer)
  • Patrick Pass – New England Patriots Fullback
  • Chris Moneymaker – Winner, World Poker Tour
    (Contributed by Scott Sookman)
  • Margaret Spellings – George W Bush’s nominee for Education Secretary
    (Contributed by Peter Granoff)
  • Benjamin Shull – Rabbi
    (Contributed by Anita Granoff)
  • Jim Burns – Deputy Fire Chief, Cambridge, MA
  • Dr.Joseph Trainor – Trainer at Longfellow Sports Club
    (Contributed by Jeremy Granoff)
  • Howard Krook – Attorney
  • Dr. Rod Crocker – Urologist
  • Dr. Eric Sacknoff – Urologist
  • Dr. Fang – Dentist
  • Jason Wood – Carpenter
  • Joan Sweeting – Chocolate Novelty Maker, New York
  • Tim Nichols – Assistant Cashier & Commercial Loan Officer, Heritage Bank, Tempe, AZ(Contributed by Tim Nichols)
  • Linda Toote – Boston Symphony Orchestra Flautest (Piccolo player)
  • Orson Swindle – Commissioner, Federal Trade Commission
  • Tony Sell – Real Estate salesman(Contributed by Karen Hertan)
  • Bill Sipper – Juice Maker (Naked Juice)
  • George Carpenter – Carpenter
  • Anna Smashnova – Israeli tennis player
    (Contributed by Spencer Green)
  • Eli Footer – Owner, Shoe manufacturing & distribution company, NY
  • Stephen Pope – Theology Dept Head, Boston College
  • Mark Tossi (Toe’-zee) – Podiatrist
    (Contributed by DaveBogart, TiVo Forum Member)
  • Chris Creamer – Dairy farm Milker
  • Samantha Connect – Harvard.net Sales Rep
  • Art Chashin – Stock market analyst
  • Sgt. Prokop – Police officer
  • Dr. Biter – Dentist
    (Contributed by Robby Archer)
  • Buff Carr – Car Insurance Salesman in San Angelo, Tx
    (Contributed by Robby Archer)
  • Dr. Sample – Performs drug screening tests.
  • Pat Love – Marriage match maker.
  • Tom Batters – Bakery owner, Utica, NY
    (Contributed by Tom Evans)
  • Scott Grim – Lehigh County Coroner (PA)
  • Richard E. Smalley – Director, Center for Nanoscale Science & Technology
    (Contributed by Tom Evans)
  • Josh Musik – Musician
  • Victor Katz – Veterinarian
  • Liz Peace – Defense Research Agency (UK?)
  • Chief Burns – NYC Battalion Fire Chief
  • Josh Cashman – Accountant
  • Dr. Joel Parrott – Veterinarian
  • Dr. Hands – Muscular Therapist
  • Norman Bates – Hotel Security Consultant
  • Terry Crook – Fundraising Chairman
  • Miranda Jones – Prosecutor
  • Carolyn Dye – Insurance Agent
  • Willie Wood – Pro Golfer
  • John Cashman – Accountant
  • Luther Shepard – Reverand
  • Michael Moschen – Juggler, Dancer, Mime
  • F.D. Rich – Billionaire
  • Tiger Woods – Golfer
  • Dr. Payne – General Practitioner
  • Dr. Painless – Dentist
  • E.Z. Filler – Dentist
  • Dave Dec – “All Hands On DEC” Command Ctr, Digital
  • Douglas Catt – Veterinary Medicine Publications
  • John E. Prieste – Church Pastor
  • Ivan Doctor – Optometrist (I. Doctor)
  • Richard Moneymaker – federal bankruptcy trustee
  • Ray Roach – Office Mgr of Pest Control Company, Chicago
  • Patience Scales – Piano teacher
  • Cardinal Sin – Archbishop of Manila
  • Forrester Church – Unitarian Minister, NY
  • Mitchell Byrd – Eagle Expert
  • Jeff Float – U.S. Olympic Swimmer
  • Alan Artner – Art critic
  • John Zap – Sells laser-scanner separations
  • Clifford Marshall – Norfolk County Sheriff
  • Dan Page – Writer
  • Sonny Elliot – Weatherman
  • M.S. Gamblin – Works in American Express Credit Dept.
  • Robyn Banks – Bank vault security
  • Jules Jergenson – Jeweler
  • Gardner Carpenter – Lumber company employee
  • Dallas Raines – Weatherman
  • Thomas K. Turnage – Selective Service Director
  • Miss. Tinkle – Piano teacher
  • Judge Family – A family court judge
  • Mr. O’Baggi – Supermarket manager
  • Mr. Creep – Undertaker
  • Mr. Bones – Undertaker
  • Mr. Gould – Undertaker
  • Neil Nevergelt – Former city treasurer
  • Larry Speakes – Press secretary
  • Seaman Seeman – Sailer
  • Mr. Monche – Cookie salesman
  • Alex Rodd – Auto mechanic
  • Paul Officer – Police officer
  • Storm Field – Weatherman
  • John Fish – Aquarium Stock Co.
  • Robert Page – Publisher, Boston Herald
  • William W. Justice – Judge
  • I.J. Fox – Fur dealer
  • Bob Walk – Pitcher for Philadelphia Phillies
  • Daryl L. Outlaw – Lawyer for City of Boston
  • Mrs. Nickles – Works in bank
  • Lawrence T. Felony – Judge
  • Jim Chisler – Banker
  • Mr. Moot – Lawyer
  • Urban Lord – Reverand
  • Dr. Bones – Orthopedic surgeon
  • Jerry Pilot – Pilot for TWA
  • Dr. Sidney Stream – Urologist
  • Nat Lightman – Sells light fixtures
  • J.F. Wall – Carpenter
  • Dr. Kenneth Krown – Dentist
  • Grant Curtis – Financial aid officer
  • Louis Loss – Securities expert
  • Tom Slick – Texas oil millionaire
  • S. Sitwell – Sells chairs
  • Mr. Shade – Tree Surgeon
  • Dorothy Orders – Director of Nurses
  • Learned Hand – Judge
  • Wise, Fine, Goode – Judges
  • Wisdom – Judge
  • Lawless – Judge
  • Otis Cash – Bookkeeper
  • Evelyn Figure – Bookkeeper
  • Mrs. Banks – Bank micro-encoder
  • Mr. Shag – Rug buyer
  • Ken Rush – Expediter
  • Mr. Books – Accountant
  • Mrs. Lord – Secretary in Theology Department
  • Mr. Buckless – Comptroller

Disclaimer: This list is intended for humorous purposes only and is not meant to slander or otherwise malign any of the people named above. None of Mark Granoff, his ISP, his dad, any contributor, or anyone else may be held responsible in any way for anything (good or bad) that happens as a result of this list. Lighten up, will ya’?!

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